Empathic Communication: A Key Relational Mechanism for Teachers

A Blog by Dr Wayne Duncan for Coactive Education May 2025

As a principal in both primary and secondary settings, and later as an itinerant behavioural advisor, I’ve witnessed a fascinating dichotomy in teacher effectiveness. I’ve observed educators meticulously plan their lessons, implement seemingly robust classroom management strategies – complete with detailed seating charts and impeccably organised resources – yet struggle to cultivate a positive and productive learning environment.

Conversely, I’ve seen other teachers walk into a classroom and almost instantly establish a palpable sense of connection, with students seemingly “eating out of their hands,” eager to engage and learn.

This stark contrast often left me pondering: what was the missing ingredient? What was the intangible quality that allowed some teachers to effortlessly build rapport and foster a thriving learning community, while others, despite their best efforts with prescribed techniques, fell short?

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This persistent observation became the driving force behind my doctoral research, leading me to explore the profound impact of empathy as a key relational mechanism in effective teaching and learning. My inquiry was deeply informed by the seminal work of Carl Rogers, whose definition of empathy resonated deeply with my experiences.

Rogers defined empathy as “the ability to understand another person's feelings and thoughts from their perspective, without judgment or projection. It involves entering their private world, as if one were that person, while maintaining an ‘as if’ perspective to avoid over-identification.”

This definition moves beyond mere sympathy or feeling for someone; it emphasizes a deep, cognitive and emotional understanding of their internal world.

Empathy in the classroom is not simply about being “nice” or agreeing with students. It is a more profound and nuanced skill that involves actively listening, observing non-verbal cues, and striving to understand the underlying emotions and perspectives that drive a student’s behaviour and engagement. It requires a teacher to step into the student’s shoes, to consider their individual experiences, challenges, and triumphs, without imposing their own biases or interpretations. This “as if” perspective is crucial; it allows the teacher to understand the student deeply while maintaining the necessary professional boundaries and objectivity.

The teacher who possesses strong empathic communication skills creates a classroom environment where students feel genuinely heard. This goes beyond simply acknowledging their verbal responses. It involves paying attention to the unspoken messages – the slumped shoulders, the averted gaze, the hesitant tone – and seeking to understand the emotions behind them. When a student feels truly heard, they experience a sense of validation and respect. This feeling of being understood is fundamental to establishing a safe learning environment. Students who feel safe are more likely to take risks, ask questions, and participate actively, knowing that their thoughts and feelings will be acknowledged and respected, even if they differ from the teacher’s or their peers’.

Consider the student who consistently disrupts the class. A teacher operating solely from a behavioural management perspective might implement consequences and focus on extinguishing the disruptive behaviour. However, a teacher employing empathic communication would seek to understand why the student is acting out. Are they struggling with the academic content and feeling frustrated? Are they seeking attention due to feeling invisible? Are they dealing with issues outside of the classroom that are impacting their behaviour? By attempting to understand the student’s perspective, the empathic teacher can move beyond simply addressing the symptom (the disruption) to addressing the underlying cause. This might involve providing differentiated support, offering opportunities for positive attention, or connecting the student with appropriate pastoral care.

Furthermore, empathic communication fosters a deeper level of shared understanding. When a teacher communicates empathically, they are not just transmitting information; they are engaging in a reciprocal process of meaning-making. They are actively seeking to understand the student’s interpretation of the material, their prior knowledge, and their individual learning style. This understanding, in turn, allows the teacher to tailor their instruction in a way that resonates more effectively with each student. The student, sensing this genuine effort to connect with their individual needs, is more likely to feel valued and engaged in the learning process.

The teacher who effortlessly connects with students often demonstrates this empathic communication intuitively. They possess a natural ability to read the room, to sense the emotional undercurrents, and to respond in a way that makes students feel seen and understood.

This isn't about being overly lenient or lowering expectations; it's about building a foundation of trust and respect that allows for effective teaching and learning to flourish.

When students feel a genuine connection with their teacher, they are more likely to be motivated, resilient, and willing to invest in their learning.

In contrast, the teacher who relies solely on prescribed management techniques, without the underpinning of empathy, may create a classroom that appears orderly on the surface but lacks genuine engagement and connection. Students may comply with rules out of obligation or fear of consequences, but they may not feel a sense of belonging or intrinsic motivation to learn. The lack of empathic understanding can lead to misinterpretations of student behaviour, resulting in ineffective or even counterproductive interventions. A student who is struggling with anxiety, for instance, might be perceived as defiant or unmotivated, leading to disciplinary actions that further erode their sense of safety and connection.

The implications of fostering empathic communication in teachers are significant. It requires a shift in focus from solely managing behaviour and delivering content to actively building relationships based on understanding and respect. This necessitates professional development opportunities that go beyond traditional pedagogical training to explicitly cultivate empathic skills. This might involve activities that promote active listening, perspective-taking, and the ability to recognize and respond to a range of emotions. It also requires teachers to engage in ongoing self-reflection on their own biases and assumptions and how these might impact their interactions with students.

Ultimately, the teacher who walks into a classroom and has students “eating out of their hands” is likely not just employing clever management techniques or possessing charismatic charm. They are likely demonstrating a deep capacity for empathic communication. They are creating an environment where students feel understood, safe, and valued, fostering a powerful relational dynamic that underpins effective teaching and learning. By prioritising the development of empathic communication skills in educators, we can move towards creating classrooms where all students feel seen, heard, and empowered to reach their full potential. The ability to truly understand and connect with our students is not just a desirable trait; it is a fundamental key to unlocking their engagement, fostering their growth, and ultimately, shaping their success.

This Blog was written by Dr Wayne Duncan

My expertise spans a wide range of educational contexts, from effective educational leadership to fostering relational learning environments. I am based in Southland and I have a focus on empathy and empathic communication.

As a former primary and secondary educator, principal, and educational psychology academic, I bring a wealth of both practical and theoretical knowledge to my current mahi. These include initial teacher education, research supervision, Kaupapa Māori research, and work within special education and mental health. My approach is grounded in extensive practical hands-on experience and research, allowing me to contribute meaningfully to shaping educational practices and supporting future educators.